24 Body Count

Episode 15: 6 am to 7 am

• After watching the entire episode and wondering if anyone was going to die, M.E.P.’s former head of security (and former boyfriend of M.E.P.’s daughter) took one for the team. CTU had him on the satellite, were preparing an ambush for him and at the last second, Girl Who Was Formerly Hair Over Her Shoulder let him in on the plan so he could divert his path. Here’s my problem with this bit of action: Former Head of Security is driving, blissfully unaware that he’s being followed. No one else in his camp knows he’s being followed except for G.W.W.F.H.O.H.S. At the last second, she diverts him from the path he’s driving into a parking garage to get CTU off his scent. While he’s in there, away from the ever present eye of the government, he quickly pulls M.E.P. out of his vehicle and into the trunk of another car that, surprise, surprise, one of his teammates drives away. How did she and the other two guys with her get there so quickly? I call foul.

Episode 16: 7 am to 8 am

• When G.W.W.F.H.O.H.S. realizes her cover is broken and she’s trying to leave CTU, the security guards try to stop her. She’s not feeling that. She pops two of them.
• Later, at the tenement where Jack and Co. are sneaking in to try to save M.E.P. from certain death, they take out two lookouts on the roof, the girl who drove the car with M.E.P. in the trunk (good job, Renee!) and three fellas in the back room acting as IT for the internet transmission of the assassination of M.E.P.
• Yep. M.E.P. goes down, too. I have to admit, I was surprised by this one. They don’t usually go after the high ranking officials. Lackeys, yes. Henchmen, sure. Some guy who needs his head cut off? Jack’s on it. Presidents of nations? Must be the end of the series and lame duck activities are afoot.

Totals: These two episodes, seven; entire season, sixty-seven. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t paying attention to how many Jack got this time. I’m pretty sure he got at least one of the IT guys, but I was kind of off in LaLa Land. We’ll call his total thirteen and be happy.

As predicted, Scooby went through the roof. I see him finding G.W.W.F.H.O.H.S. in a dark alleyway sometime in the near future and her not making it out. Apparently, she’s not a double agent but rather a mercenary. That was kind of crappy, but I guess it’s as realistic as anything else.

Sweetknuckle seems to have weathered his heart attack pretty well. Taylor’s Man Friday and Military Fella are going down for treason, despite the fact that they saved millions of lives in exchange for the one Presidential life they squandered.

Tony didn’t make any appearances. I’m not giving up, though. Nina came back for three seasons before they killed her ass off. I still have hope that he’ll show up and stir the pot a little.

It’s the end of the season and, sadly, the end of the series, so the double episodes are stacked up from now through sweeps week. As such, things are getting…hectic…at CTU. I know that all the stops are being pulled right now, creating a veritable pyrotechnic show of drama, suspense and a deluge of bullets, but I have to ask: please don’t sell the audience short in this last hurrah.