Monday, February 15, 2010

24 Body Count

Ok, so Robert knows that when Jack Bauer shows up on the door step, I have no choice but to go with him. He understands. I’ve accepted the same premise for him and Jennifer Aniston.

I have to run away with Jack because he’s just a bad mo-fo. To wit:

Episode 8: 11 pm to 12 am

  • Jack strangles a Russian goon with his thighs, finally putting him out of his misery by breaking his neck. This, after the goon was torturing Jack, trying to get him to admit he was working with the police. (C’mon, goon! Jack is the police!) The goon had Jack suspended, hands over head, from a pipe in the basement and was electrocuting him with a car battery and jumper cables. Multiple times. Once in Jack’s knife wound. (Remember that? When Renee stabbed him because she was going ape crap bananas? Just a flesh wound, apparently.) Jack also took a charge to the nads. And then killed the guy. I won’t bore you with the details of how he got off the pipe—just accept that he’s a barefoot badass.
  • Jack shoots two more Russian goons who are stupid enough to get in his way while he’s taking control of the situation with the head Russian mobster. Stupid goons.

Jack’s not the only one who got in a few kills tonight.

  • Russian Mobster’s son (who was previously the guy on Heroes who was immortal—Hiro buried him, he escaped, etc.—I forget because Heroes has kind of sucked for a while) has a bone to pick with his dad. Dad, after all, killed his other son, somewhat in payment for Immortal Hero’s disobediance. To pay Russian Mobster Dad back, Immortal Hero snuck into the truck carrying the nuclear materials and shot the two goons who were guarding it so he could cut Dad out of the deal with Middle Eastern President’s slimy brother.

Totals, thus far: Jack, seven.  Season as a whole, twenty-eight confirmed, one unconfirmed.

In other news, it appears the cop from last week survived—he’s in the hospital.

I fear sleazy ex-boyfriend of Blond-Hair-Over-Her-Shoulder and his friend are about to bite the dust—she seemed pretty pissed at the end of the hour when Anger Management Boy (the friend, not the ex) said she’d have to keep working for them. Really? She was surprised? Wow. As a side note, I think (and maybe I’m imagining this?) that her hair wasn’t firmly placed over her shoulder tonight. I’d like to take credit for that. You’re welcome, America.

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